Sometimes it’s enough
by Bex Drake
Summary: Forgiveness is never easy, but it has to start somewhere and sometimes just starting is enough. ONE SHOT


**Title:** _Sometimes it's enough (1/1)_

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own anything; the world of Harry Potter belongs to the fabulous J. K. Rowling._

**Rating: **_R- just to make sure._

**Pairing:**_ DM/HG, BZ/HG_

**Summary: **_Forgiveness is not easy, but it has to start somewhere._

**Words:**_ 2301_

**A/N:**_This is just a little one-shot that I came up with last night and typed up today. Comments will be loved and adored :)_

* * *

"I wish-" She broke off and sighed, raking a hand through her hair and gazing up at the star filled sky. It seemed to hold all the answers that she was futilely grasping for. The stars had probably witnessed many such scenes before, so doubtless they knew all the answers. 

Muggle scientists believed that the stars were gigantic balls of burning gas billions of light-years away, and once upon a time she'd have believed them without question. She was a creature of fact after all, but now she was having a crisis of faith. Perhaps her Grandmother had been right all those summers ago, that the stars were made up of swirling, flaming, gas but that wasn't _what_ they were anymore than a human was a bunch of molecules. Maybe, the stars were the souls of everyone's ancestors watching over them. It was a pretty theory at any rate.

"But how?" He asked sitting next to her on the grass. They were like two lovers sitting beneath the stars wrapped in their own little world, barely aware that the world span on around them. She snorted and looked at him impishly, a trace of her humour dancing in her sombre eyes.

"Surely you know how-" She yelped as he hit her playfully on the bed.

"You know I didn't mean that, stop being deliberately obtuse." She stuck her tongue out in response. "We were always so careful to cast a charm- how did it happen?" He regarded her speculatively. "Are you sure it's mine?"

"Yes. I am damned sure it is yours." She snapped incensed that he could suggest such a thing. The likelihood of her cheating on him was about the same as her being able to stop breathing and live. She turned away from him and took a deep breath, reminding herself that she hadn't come to argue with him. "Most couples would be happy," She said abruptly, wistful for things that could never be.

"In case you haven't noticed, we aren't most couples." He replied wryly pulling her against him and resting his chin on her head, as he held her tightly to him. She relaxed against him and basked in the strength and support he offered.

"No, we aren't." She agreed. She licked her lips and drew away from him, steeling herself against the onslaught she knew was to come. "I'm going to keep it," She said simply. He froze.

"You are going to keep it?" He repeated surprised. She drew away from him further and stood up, clutching her hands in front of herself nervously. "Why?" He spluttered. "Why are you going to destroy your future? Think of all the things you want to do, places you want to go. How are you going to do that if you have a child?" He demanded, as she watched him in stony silence.

"So?" She returned with a shrug. She laughed abruptly, it was a bitter sound, and turned away from him. "Maybe- maybe falling pregnant at seventeen wasn't something I'd planned for my future. So damn what! I am pregnant- it's not like I can do anything about it except have an abortion which I will not do! I am pregnant and I am just going to have to make the best of it aren't I? It happened now I'm going to have to deal with the consequences." She turned back to him and all the anger and frustration seemed to drain away as she watched him; her face softened and for a moment she looked like she knew the troubles of the world but was fighting on anyway. "I'm not asking you to give up your dreams." He snorted.

"Of course not." He sneered standing up and looking at her with contempt. "No you aren't asking me to give them up, you're asking me to change them- right? So they'll fit in with this little… mishap." He expected her to get angry, to lash out, so he'd have an excuse to be the injured party. Instead, she just stood where she was and watched him through pain filled eyes.

"No, Draco." She shook her head. "I am not asking- telling or bribing, for that matter- you to give up your dreams. Only one of us needs to and that is me." She ran a hand through her hair again and focused her attention on the floor. "What I am asking, however, is what do you want to do? I want- I am- going to keep this baby and give it a home. What I want to know is- Are you ready to be a father?"

"I-" He trailed off helplessly.

"You don't have to. If you decide you aren't ready now, then that's fine. If you don't think you'll ever be ready," She swallowed, "Then that is fine too. I won't trap you, and whatever you decide I'll never stop you seeing the child and- If you decide you aren't ready I won't tell anyone that you are the child's father- unless you want me to. I- I'm babbling aren't I?" She laughed nervously. "Basically, I'm offering you a choice."

"I- I need some time to think." She nodded.

"Okay." She started to move away back to the school. "But Draco? I won't wait forever for you to decide." With that she was gone. He would wake up in the morning to find her stuff gone from her quarters and no sign of her at the Gryffindor table. Dumbledore made a speech at breakfast that day, and said that for family reasons Hermione Granger had left the school. She would, of course, be doing her exams at home and that she apologised for her abrupt departure.

* * *

"Pack it in you two," She said shooting a look at her eldest, twin boys- some cosmic joke, she was sure. They pulled a face, but stopped fooling around amongst the graves. It was funny in some horribly non-humorous way that so many people she knew were buried there. She clutched her youngest Sophia's hand and the bunch of roses in the other and moved towards his grave. She placed them on the grave and stood back tears streaming silently down her face, the boys were quiet as they moved to stand next to her. The four of them looked at his grave each lost in their silent grief. "Hello darling, it's that time of year again." She began, starting the ritual. "I can't believe it's just been four years…" She swallowed. "The boys will be starting Hogwarts this autumn, so I guess we'll finally see which of us was right." She gave a watery chuckle.

"Dad," William, the elder of the two, began. "Jon and I have been looking after Mum and 'Fia like we promised."

"Yeah," Jonathan chimed in. "And we've been keeping Uncle Harry and Uncle Ron busy this summer because we've been practising our Quidditch. Hopefully we'll get on our house team, just like Uncle Harry."

"Aunty Ginny helped me make cakes." Sophia put in proudly. "But Billy and Jon ate them."

"Hey! They were nice." William insisted.

"And they were all unattended-" Hermione laughed.

"See what trouble we get into without you around Blaise?" She asked. She had waited for Draco to make up his mind, hoped that he'd owl her but he never had. One day in London, two years after the boys were born, she'd bumped into Blaise Zabini and they'd talked. The rest, as they say, was history. A year after bumping into him she'd married him, and then two years later they had had Sophia. Then two years later Blaise had died protecting her and the children when some rogue Death Eaters had stumbled across their house.

"I love you." She whispered. The children echoed it, before moving off a little way to give her some privacy. "You deserved someone better Blaise Zabini," She said silently. "You deserved someone who loved you as much as you loved them. I loved you but it wasn't enough. I know if you were here you'd tell me-"

"Hermione Granger?" A surprised voice asked behind her. She spun around and found herself facing someone she hadn't seen in nearly twelve years- Draco Malfoy. He looked just as she remembered him, but older.

"It's Hermione Zabini actually." William said, glaring. "Who are you?"

"Billy!" She admonished. "Where are your manners?" She swallowed, pulling herself together. "I'm sorry for my son's outburst-"

"He can apologise for himself." Jonathan snapped coming to stand next to his brother. Draco looked at them wordlessly and then back to her, before going back to the twins again. Sophia rushed forward and hid behind her mother. "It still doesn't tell us who he is."

"That is enough," Hermione bit out glaring at her boys. "You do not talk to anyone like that- what would your father say?" She demanded, ignoring Draco's raised eyebrows. "I know you have manners because I taught them to you, and you will use them- especially if you want those things from Diagon Alley tomorrow." She warned.

"Sorry Mum." William apologised, and at his mother's frown. "Sorry Mister." Jon echoed his statements.

"I apologise for my son's behaviour, Mr. Malfoy," She said. "I thought they'd learnt their manners- apparently I was wrong, a fault which I will be correcting soon." She continued with a warning look in her sons' direction.

"It's Draco." He reminded her, his silver eyes pleading. Hermione could already feel herself relenting, the bitterness of his abandonment slowly ebbing away as she watched him. "I- I didn't know you married Zabini."

"I gave up waiting," She replied her eyes distant. "I told you I wouldn't wait forever."

"Did you love him?" He asked. He had to know.

"Yes. I did love him, Draco. I would never have married him if I hadn't."

"I take it these are your children?" He questioned, hesitant; wondering if she was just going to brush her away. Almost in spite of himself he had missed her, longed for her, every day since she had gone. But he had been too proud to try and get in touch with her again, assuming that when she'd calmed down she'd owl him but she never had. She smiled.

"I thought you were almost as bright as me." She teased. "Children, this is Draco Malfoy- your father's best friend at school. Draco, this is William and Jonathan," She said gesturing to the twins. "And this is little Sophia." Sophia waved at him hesitantly from behind her mother.

"Could I- buy you some ice creams? I- I'd like to catch up, if that's okay with you Hermione, and apologise." She bit her lip.

"Do you want to?" She asked the children. Sophia nodded excitedly, she was always up for some ice cream, but William and Jonathan exchanged calculating glances before nodding. "Okay." She uttered looking up.

He took them to a Wizarding ice cream parlour that wasn't far from the cemetery. The children ate their ice cream quickly, and Hermione gave permission to them to go and look next door in the toy shop providing the twins looked after their sister. Hermione and Draco sat in silence once the children were gone. "I thought you knew I'd married Blaise," Hermione said at last. "It was all over the papers." Draco shrugged.

"I gave up reading the papers a long time ago." He replied simply. "I was at the back at his funeral, and I didn't stay long once it was over. I guess it was serendipity that we met up today."

"Perhaps it was one of Blaise's little joke." She put in, watching the contents of her cup intently. "Blaise knew I love you. Knew that no matter how much I loved him, I could never love him as much as I loved you but he still asked me to marry him. I- I told him he could do a lot better than a single mother like me, but he told me he didn't want to 'do' any better." She looked up. "Maybe if-"

"You can't change the past, Hermione." Draco uttered. "I should know. I- I shouldn't have let you leave twelve years ago not without a fight. I- I'm sorry I made you wait too long." She looked at him startled, trying to clamp down on her hopes. She didn't want to get hurt again. "I- If you're willing I- I-" He slammed the spoon down on the table in frustration. "Bloody hell!" He grumbled. "What I'm trying to say, badly, is- would you give me another chance? I know I mucked up royally twelve years ago, but life without you has been hell. I can't make up for those twelve years but- I'd like to be some small part of your life again, if you'll let me."

"You, Draco Malfoy, have never been a small part of my life!" Hermione said fondly. She looked at the man in front of her; the man she was in love with twelve years on from discovering that she was pregnant with his children. Even after he had let her go and she had married Blaise and lost him, she couldn't deny it.

Sometimes it was enough to try and hope, even if it was almost twelve years too late maybe they could rebuild their relationship or at least forge a new one. If he had been alive she would have accused Blaise of orchestrating the whole event, perhaps he had managed to do it even in death.

Sometime it was enough just to try.


End file.
